The lies begin early

I am the daughter of a king, who is not moved by the world. For my God is with me and goes before me. I do not fear because I am his.

The Holy Spirit will warn you; it’s up to you to pay attention. He is the king of the jungle…

Would you be fearful of walking into a zoo? Probably not, because you are well aware of the agencies and safety apparatuses in place to protect you from the animals. You’re well aware of the ferocious beasts you’re about to face as you enter the gates of the zoo, yet you place your trust in the zookeepers to maintain these animals and keep them in their cages so you are far from harm. You share a pleasant day with your family and friends, maybe stopping to feed some of the animals and take photos near them along the way.

An old saying has been coming to the forefront of my mind lately. “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” Have you ever tried to hang onto a rope? Do you have any idea how tough it is to hold onto a rope for any amount of time? Maybe you were better at the rope climb than I was, but it was an extremely difficult task for me. It works for a little while, but after only a few short moments, your grip becomes quite loose and your body gets tired. You know those times when you have a cold and your nose is stuffy? You find yourself thinking about all the times when you could breathe clearly through both nostrils. Same goes for the rope. Your hands start to burn and you are left thinking about the times when you could be free to do whatever you like and have smooth hands.

When I was 15, I started working at a Christian camp in the Poconos. I was friends with everyone I worked with and had become friends with so many of the campers as well. We played sports together, had Bible studies, had competition/pranks between the guys and girls, worked endless hours in the dining hall, children’s church, and the snack shop, and had outings together along with movie nights and campfires. I worked there every summer for 5 years. I still love so many of those people to this day. Of all the amazing memories I made during my time at camp, one continues to come to mind. One time we were talking as a group & one of the guys said “why would anybody go out with Krista? She’s not skinny.” There was a sudden shift in my thinking. I had been told for years that I was perfect just the way I am, yet in that moment I felt completely inadequate. It was in that moment that I knew I needed to lose weight. Instead of doing it the healthy way, I became anorexic, not going to meals in the dining hall and telling everyone I was eating in my room, even though I never did. I’d give the appearance I was eating, but just have enough to keep me from passing out. I remember sleeping a lot that summer because my body was so weak. I was a 00 in Hollister pants and I was always a 6 at smallest. Once someone discovered what I was doing, they took me to the hospital. Turns out that I had fluid in my lungs and had to take medication to get better. That conversation still replays in my mind and any time I’ve gone through a breakup, the devil brings it to my attention that if I was skinny, I’d be loved. WRONG. No one will truly love you solely based on if you’ve gained weight or lost weight. The love will not change when someone truly cares. Are you listening? Did you catch that? Love does not waver due to weight fluctuations. Love is love. You are loved as you are right now. You are a child of the King of Kings & are highly favored.

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